I'm headed right now to go do a speaking engagement on the importance of taking care of your marriage while raising your kids. I always talk about how you must take care of yourself first and then bring your best self to your marriage. Then, you'll be able to have a happy and fulfilling relationship which will enable you to bring not only a happy YOU, but also a happy couple to the job of parenting. Then, it all falls into place. That and a few parenting tools, and voila! you have a happy family!
Take some time today to give to your relationship. It's not too late. It's never too little. Be kind, be giving and have fun! You'll be glad you did!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Just what I needed to hear...
Do you ever find that whatever you needed happens to appear just when you needed it?
I have been contemplating writing a book, as you may know. Actually more than contemplating, I've been whittling away at writing. I do a little here and a little there, but I have had some roadblocks that keep me stuck. I realize that the stuckness is really based upon my fears and feelings of inadequacy. (I hope that everyone reading this has experienced that feeling, too, so I don't feel completely terrible about myself!)
Today, I decided to attend a teleseminar on writing in the hopes that I would get some inspiration and hear the words of wisdom that would make my book magically written before my eyes. Ok, that didn't happen. But I did hear exactly what I needed to hear.
I heard that no one can write my book but me because my passion for the subject will shine through better in my own voice than in anyone else's. I needed to hear that because I was trying in my head to pass the buck and get someone else to do it for me.
I also heard that it's ok to get stuck sometimes. Take a break and come back to it. It will look fresher and clearer in the light of another day or another hour. That told me that I'm not the only one struggling through the process. Whew! Just the support I needed to plug through.
So, from my experience, I hope I can inspire you to see the serendipity in your day and to listen to the messages you really need to hear today. They are there...they might be whispering, but they are there. Just listen.
Back to the book, now!
I have been contemplating writing a book, as you may know. Actually more than contemplating, I've been whittling away at writing. I do a little here and a little there, but I have had some roadblocks that keep me stuck. I realize that the stuckness is really based upon my fears and feelings of inadequacy. (I hope that everyone reading this has experienced that feeling, too, so I don't feel completely terrible about myself!)
Today, I decided to attend a teleseminar on writing in the hopes that I would get some inspiration and hear the words of wisdom that would make my book magically written before my eyes. Ok, that didn't happen. But I did hear exactly what I needed to hear.
I heard that no one can write my book but me because my passion for the subject will shine through better in my own voice than in anyone else's. I needed to hear that because I was trying in my head to pass the buck and get someone else to do it for me.
I also heard that it's ok to get stuck sometimes. Take a break and come back to it. It will look fresher and clearer in the light of another day or another hour. That told me that I'm not the only one struggling through the process. Whew! Just the support I needed to plug through.
So, from my experience, I hope I can inspire you to see the serendipity in your day and to listen to the messages you really need to hear today. They are there...they might be whispering, but they are there. Just listen.
Back to the book, now!
Friday, January 23, 2009
New Beginnings
Well, it's a new year - 2009. We have a new President and there is hope for new beginnings throughout the United States and even the world. I love that there seems to be hope in our country because these are tough economic times and to know that there is hope in the air, tells me that people are inherently optimistic.
That inspires me! I believe that hope and optimism are great tools in dealing with this crazy thing called life. Some people would call me "Pollyanna" or "idealistic", but to me having hope is actually a creative process. Where there is hope, there is possibility. When times are tough, it might be easy to give up, but to have hope means taking action and not giving up when things look bleak. The only failure is giving up, so when I see hope, I know that failure isn't an option.
Today, I'm motivated to inspire hope in my kids so that, no matter what, they are never willing to give up on their efforts or their dreams.
Take the opportunity to make 2009 a year of hope, inspiration and never giving up. Amazing things can happen!
That inspires me! I believe that hope and optimism are great tools in dealing with this crazy thing called life. Some people would call me "Pollyanna" or "idealistic", but to me having hope is actually a creative process. Where there is hope, there is possibility. When times are tough, it might be easy to give up, but to have hope means taking action and not giving up when things look bleak. The only failure is giving up, so when I see hope, I know that failure isn't an option.
Today, I'm motivated to inspire hope in my kids so that, no matter what, they are never willing to give up on their efforts or their dreams.
Take the opportunity to make 2009 a year of hope, inspiration and never giving up. Amazing things can happen!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Times of Uncertainty & Gratitude
My family and I had the immense privilege today of helping out for a few hours at our local food bank. We accomplished so much and I was so proud of all of our hard work (along with a group of our dear friends) and the progress we made for Manna in Thousand Oaks.
During these uncertain economic times, more people than ever are turning to food banks to supplement or provide all of the food for their family.
I couldn't help but feel so much gratitude for all of the blessings in my life and to send blessings to the families waiting patiently for their turn to shop from Manna's shelves.
During this time of year - and any time of year - don't forget to say "thank you" for the many blessings around you. Even in the tough times, there is always something for which to say thank you.
During these uncertain economic times, more people than ever are turning to food banks to supplement or provide all of the food for their family.
I couldn't help but feel so much gratitude for all of the blessings in my life and to send blessings to the families waiting patiently for their turn to shop from Manna's shelves.
During this time of year - and any time of year - don't forget to say "thank you" for the many blessings around you. Even in the tough times, there is always something for which to say thank you.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Balanced Parenting
It has been such a long time since I have updated my blog. I must confess that I, too, struggle with finding balance at times. As we all do! I believe that balance isn't a state that we live in, it is a state that we are always striving for, and as a result, we are constantly making corrective moves.
Life often gets away from us and we must remember to come back and find our center again. Doing that sometimes means putting things on the back burner that can wait, but won't overwhelm us later. It's about prioritizing what really matters and letting go of what doesn't. Letting go is a big challenge for some of us, but quite liberating when we finally succumb.
When evaluating your priorities, remember to put yourself first, your marriage second and your kids up there in the top three. Take good care of yourself to bring your best self to your marriage/relationships and to your kids; take good care of your primary relationship so that when the kids are grown and gone you will have someone there with whom you want to move forward; and, when those two priorities are cared for, you will bring an amazing parent to the table with your kids. Your buckets will be filled up, your support and internal resources will be in place and you will have all you need to make good choices in parenting your kids.
Wishing you balance,
Bette
Life often gets away from us and we must remember to come back and find our center again. Doing that sometimes means putting things on the back burner that can wait, but won't overwhelm us later. It's about prioritizing what really matters and letting go of what doesn't. Letting go is a big challenge for some of us, but quite liberating when we finally succumb.
When evaluating your priorities, remember to put yourself first, your marriage second and your kids up there in the top three. Take good care of yourself to bring your best self to your marriage/relationships and to your kids; take good care of your primary relationship so that when the kids are grown and gone you will have someone there with whom you want to move forward; and, when those two priorities are cared for, you will bring an amazing parent to the table with your kids. Your buckets will be filled up, your support and internal resources will be in place and you will have all you need to make good choices in parenting your kids.
Wishing you balance,
Bette
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Expectations
Many parents come to me experiencing disappointment and frustration. I often find that what is really happening is that they have unreasonable expectations of themselves and their kids. We must keep in mind our child's developmental age and abilities in addition to what we have taught them up to that point. What can they handle? Are we expecting more than we should?
The other unreasonable expectation that I see frequently is that of moms and dads thinking they should be perfect all of the time. We are all learning, growing and developing, just like our kids. Go easy on yourself and do your best to do your best. Your kids will forgive you along the way if you learn to be forgiving of yourself.
Enjoy this wild ride called raising kids!
The other unreasonable expectation that I see frequently is that of moms and dads thinking they should be perfect all of the time. We are all learning, growing and developing, just like our kids. Go easy on yourself and do your best to do your best. Your kids will forgive you along the way if you learn to be forgiving of yourself.
Enjoy this wild ride called raising kids!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
New Tools for the New Year!
The first tool I recommend parents work on for this new year is their reactions to their kids' behaviors. How we handle a situation actually determines how things go. When your child behaves in a way that is challenging, appalling and even embarrassing, I challenge you to take a breath before reacting. Show no emotion, breathe, and think through how you want to handle the moment. Often, how we react to our kids' behavior sends the whole family down a "rabbit hole" of chaos.
Remember: Stop...breathe...decide on the best intervention.
Wishing you balance,
Bette
Remember: Stop...breathe...decide on the best intervention.
Wishing you balance,
Bette
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