Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Growing up and growing away...

Let's talk about separation anxiety - not just for our kids, but for us parents, too! Every level of development brings with it a new level of separation. Birth: we cut the umbilical cord and literally separate our bodies from one another; weaning: we separate from the closeness of nursing and have to find other ways to be close and to feel connected with our babies; preschool/day care: our little ...ones begin to have a life separate from us and we no longer know everything they have seen or heard; grade school/middle school/high school: all bring with them new and greater levels of separation; college: our kids often move out and begin to make a life for themselves outside of our homes. These are all healthy and happy separations, but there is a level of grief that comes with each stage for parents.

My youngest daughter got her drivers' license last week. She is a very independent spirit and I have hardly seen her in the past week. After spending lots of time together, she doesn't need me anymore for transportation or driving practice. She is also my youngest child and I have been experiencing a deep sadness that goes with this latest developmental stage. I'm happy for her and she's ready for this...I'm not so sure I was. I'm keeping the perspective that all is well and I know that each separation is healthy to prepare my kids to make independent lives - which I DO want for them! It's ok if I shed a tear, too!

Please share your thoughts and personal stories, so I know I'm not alone!

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT

from MOMIPEDIA post on Facebook 5/25/16

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

It's all about optimism!

Let's talk about optimism and faith. So many people suffer today with depression. Inherent in depression is hopelessness. We must teach our children a sense of optimism, faith that things won't always stay the same, and a hopefulness in life and the future.  Talk to them about the impermanence of feelings and that there is always hope in the new day.  This basic knowing that, as parents, we can infuse in them with lots of repetition, can actually prevent depression in our kids later in life.

Here are a few tips:

  • Practice gratitude daily either at the dinner table or before bed;
  • point out the blessings in the challenges that happen every day;
  • remind your kids that feelings are fleeting and what makes them sad today will be only a memory tomorrow. 

Please share your tools of optimism with all of us!

Wishing you balance,

Bette Alkazian, LMFT

Balanced Parenting

from MOMIPEDIA post on Facebook

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The Guile of Guilt

Today let's talk about mommy guilt!  We have so many outside influences telling us we are falling short, less than or never enough. Our inside voices are even more cruel when we self-judge or experience shame around our parenting. Today, give yourself a break and tell yourself that YOU ARE ENOUGH! We are all doing the best we can.  Take one small step to do something you've been wanting to do, but just haven't. That will make you feel better that you are taking an action! Action is the best antidote to guilt and anxiety!  What do you feel guilty about most?

Wishing you balance,

Bette Alkazian, LMFT
Balanced Parenting

from MOMIPEDIA on Facebook