New Beginnings

Well, it's a new year - 2009. We have a new President and there is hope for new beginnings throughout the United States and even the world. I love that there seems to be hope in our country because these are tough economic times and to know that there is hope in the air, tells me that people are inherently optimistic.

That inspires me! I believe that hope and optimism are great tools in dealing with this crazy thing called life. Some people would call me "Pollyanna" or "idealistic", but to me having hope is actually a creative process. Where there is hope, there is possibility. When times are tough, it might be easy to give up, but to have hope means taking action and not giving up when things look bleak. The only failure is giving up, so when I see hope, I know that failure isn't an option.

Today, I'm motivated to inspire hope in my kids so that, no matter what, they are never willing to give up on their efforts or their dreams.

Take the opportunity to make 2009 a year of hope, inspiration and never giving up. Amazing things can happen!

Times of Uncertainty & Gratitude

My family and I had the immense privilege today of helping out for a few hours at our local food bank. We accomplished so much and I was so proud of all of our hard work (along with a group of our dear friends) and the progress we made for Manna in Thousand Oaks.

During these uncertain economic times, more people than ever are turning to food banks to supplement or provide all of the food for their family.

I couldn't help but feel so much gratitude for all of the blessings in my life and to send blessings to the families waiting patiently for their turn to shop from Manna's shelves.

During this time of year - and any time of year - don't forget to say "thank you" for the many blessings around you. Even in the tough times, there is always something for which to say thank you.

Balanced Parenting

It has been such a long time since I have updated my blog. I must confess that I, too, struggle with finding balance at times. As we all do! I believe that balance isn't a state that we live in, it is a state that we are always striving for, and as a result, we are constantly making corrective moves.

Life often gets away from us and we must remember to come back and find our center again. Doing that sometimes means putting things on the back burner that can wait, but won't overwhelm us later. It's about prioritizing what really matters and letting go of what doesn't. Letting go is a big challenge for some of us, but quite liberating when we finally succumb.

When evaluating your priorities, remember to put yourself first, your marriage second and your kids up there in the top three. Take good care of yourself to bring your best self to your marriage/relationships and to your kids; take good care of your primary relationship so that when the kids are grown and gone you will have someone there with whom you want to move forward; and, when those two priorities are cared for, you will bring an amazing parent to the table with your kids. Your buckets will be filled up, your support and internal resources will be in place and you will have all you need to make good choices in parenting your kids.

Wishing you balance,

Bette

Expectations

Many parents come to me experiencing disappointment and frustration. I often find that what is really happening is that they have unreasonable expectations of themselves and their kids. We must keep in mind our child's developmental age and abilities in addition to what we have taught them up to that point. What can they handle? Are we expecting more than we should?

The other unreasonable expectation that I see frequently is that of moms and dads thinking they should be perfect all of the time. We are all learning, growing and developing, just like our kids. Go easy on yourself and do your best to do your best. Your kids will forgive you along the way if you learn to be forgiving of yourself.

Enjoy this wild ride called raising kids!

New Tools for the New Year!

The first tool I recommend parents work on for this new year is their reactions to their kids' behaviors. How we handle a situation actually determines how things go. When your child behaves in a way that is challenging, appalling and even embarrassing, I challenge you to take a breath before reacting. Show no emotion, breathe, and think through how you want to handle the moment. Often, how we react to our kids' behavior sends the whole family down a "rabbit hole" of chaos.

Remember: Stop...breathe...decide on the best intervention.

Wishing you balance,

Bette

Where did 2007 go?

Well, it's Mid-December, 2007. How did that happen already? I'm amazed at how quickly this year has flown by. We are headed into the holidays and before we blink, it will be 2008. It is so easy to get caught up in the craziness that defines each day and before you know it, the year has gone by and we didn't accomplish all that we had hoped. We are so busy being busy.


Join me in resolving to make 2008 a year of living and parenting with intention. Taking at least some moments in each day to appreciate the day, appreciate the kids at this age and just enjoy the moment before it's gone.


Our kids grow up so quickly. Enjoy each day and you will not only derive more pleasure from life, but you will be an incredible role model for your kids for living in the present and appreciating the gifts that each day brings.

Thanksgiving & Hanukkah 2007

Thanksgiving was here and gone. It is actually my favorite holiday because it doesn't involve the over-indulgence of anything except food and it reminds us to say "thank you" for what we have. Love that!

Tomorrow begins the holiday of Hanukkah. In my house, that means fitting the celebration in between homework assignments and showers, with lighting the candles and opening presents and hopefully, spending a few moments with each other.

Take a moment to enjoy this beautiful season and I will, too!