With thanks to my village...

When we talk about raising kids, it really does take a village.  When I think back to when my own kids were little, I realize that I couldn't have made it through without my mom friends. I wouldn't have known when it was time to give my baby cheerios, or that it was ok to let her cry for a bit if I was just finishing something up. As the kids got older, I had a bunco group that kept me up to date on what was happening at the high school and I had a Mom's Night Out group who kept me sane.  My friends who would bring their kids over for the afternoon so I could have a playdate, too, and then stayed for dinner and baths were my lifeline...and I could give you so many more examples!  It is with thanks to my village that I write this post today and I hope that you, too, have a village who saves your life each day and restores your sanity!!  Feel free to tag your friends with a word of thanks here!!!


Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT
www.BalancedParenting.com

Spanking...yay or nay?

Spanking is still a very controversial and heated discussion for many. My belief is that spanking doesn't teach kids anything useful looking forward. When would they be able to use the tool of hitting someone in an appropriate setting? All healthy parenting tools should be applicable to other situations and parents are constantly modeling how to handle themselves and their feelings. Feel free to disagree with me. What are your thoughts about this article?


http://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers


Wishing you balance,


Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT
www.BalancedParenting.com

Blame It On Rio 2016!

The Olympics are over and I have to say that I'm grieving the loss a bit. It was an emotional ride that I would take again and again. The triumph, the defeat, the pride, the patriotism, the comraderie, the talent, the commitment, the determination, the laser-sharp focus...I could go on and on. I know there were a few blemishes, but don't let the media attention to those moments overshadow the big picture of what an amazing ritual-filled coming together the Olympics are to the whole world.  This is the kind of thing kids should be allowed to watch for hours (with parental editorials, of course!) I hope you shed a few tears like I did (ok, more than a few!) and were inspired to push yourselves a little further than you might have before.  Feel free to share your favorite events, moments, or any Olympics related thoughts with us!

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT
www.BalancedParenting.com

It's Honeymoon Time!

Ok, here comes school for many and some have already begun.  My own daughter starts next Wednesday.  There is an excitement and a little nervous energy associated with the start of school which leads the way into what I call "the honeymoon".  The first month or so is everyone getting used to the new year, new teachers, new classes, new routines, new friends, etc...Lots to process and take in for those more sensitive students. After the first month the novelty wears off and kids begin to test the limits and show their struggles. Be aware and attempt to be proactive if you see your child struggling with academics, socially or behaviorally. Remember this post a month from now and I'll do my best to remember to remind you. Parents, enjoy the honeymoon! <3 nbsp="" span="">

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT

www.BalancedParenting.com

from MOMIPEDIA post on Facebook

Adaptability

It’s the beginning of a new school year and some kids roll with it better than others. Change is the only constant, right? Our ability to adjust to new situations depends very much on our level of adaptability.  The good news is that for those of us for whom change is challenging, we can increase our adaptability with some effort. 

We must be able to: respond to sudden changes in our circumstances; keep calm in the face of difficulties; shift priorities in the face of changing situations, and much more.  How do we help our kids for whom flexibility is not their greatest strength? 

We need to help our kids (and ourselves) to practice greater levels of patience; to see change as a positive (which requires optimism); to keep an open mind; and to bounce back as quickly as possible when the unexpected happens.  Simply an awareness of wanting to improve our skills in these areas is a great beginning. Breathe…relax…and let life roll on!

Wishing you balance,


Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT
www.BalancedParenting.com


from MOMIPEDIA post on Facebook 8-10-16

'Tis the Season for...ANXIETY!

The beginning of the new school year is a common time for kids and parents to experience anxiety.  The parents are anxious that kids will be happy and thrive in their new grade, new school, with new friends, etc...  Kids are anxious about all of the unknowns, their new teachers, new kids, new school, new classroom, everything is new even if they went to that school last year.  For kids who experience anxiety, as a rule, it's especially challenging.  Their anxiety that may have been a bit lower in the summer is back with a vengeance! 

Here are a few tips to help your kids and yourself deal with this very anxious time of year!

• Manage your expectations of your kids and situations realistically
• Make sure you are taking good care of yourself to ensure maximum patience with your kids
• Take time away if you need it, meditate, exercise...self-care is of paramount importance, not a luxury
• When your child is expressing anxious feelings, don't try to reason with him/her.  Combatting logic with feelings never works!
• Stay in a place of compassion - "I know this is hard!" "Do you need a hug?" "New things can be scary!"
• Don't change plans to accommodate anxiety unless absolutely necessary.  Kids have to learn that their anxiety doesn't change the circumstance, it just takes the fun out of it.

This is a stressful time of year for parents and kids alike.  The more preparation and proactive planning there is, the happier everyone will be!!

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT

www.BalancedParenting.com

The Bridge to Connectedness...

I love when a theme emerges with my clients and this month's theme has been about feeling "safe" in relationships. When we use respect with each other and truly cherish our partners' and our kids' strengths AND weaknesses, we make them feel SAFE with us. They feel able to be honest, able to be vulnerable without fear and able to open their hearts and share with us; this is what leads to true connectedness and intimacy in relationships.  This is what we all crave and yearn for from those we love. Look inward at how you might make your partner or kids feel "unsafe" with you and work to hold your tongue when criticism or harshness comes. Your compassion and unconditional love are your greatest bridges to true connectedness.

Wishing you balance,

Bette Levy Alkazian, LMFT, BCPC
www.BalancedParenting.com



from MOMIPEDIA on Facebook 7-27-16