Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Expectations

Many parents come to me experiencing disappointment and frustration. I often find that what is really happening is that they have unreasonable expectations of themselves and their kids. We must keep in mind our child's developmental age and abilities in addition to what we have taught them up to that point. What can they handle? Are we expecting more than we should?

The other unreasonable expectation that I see frequently is that of moms and dads thinking they should be perfect all of the time. We are all learning, growing and developing, just like our kids. Go easy on yourself and do your best to do your best. Your kids will forgive you along the way if you learn to be forgiving of yourself.

Enjoy this wild ride called raising kids!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

New Tools for the New Year!

The first tool I recommend parents work on for this new year is their reactions to their kids' behaviors. How we handle a situation actually determines how things go. When your child behaves in a way that is challenging, appalling and even embarrassing, I challenge you to take a breath before reacting. Show no emotion, breathe, and think through how you want to handle the moment. Often, how we react to our kids' behavior sends the whole family down a "rabbit hole" of chaos.

Remember: Stop...breathe...decide on the best intervention.

Wishing you balance,

Bette