Ch…ch…ch…changes: Transitioning Kids to Summer Vacation

Change is in the air. School is ending, summer is beginning; saying goodbye to this school year and hello to something new and different for the summer.

Schedules are off. Swim lessons have begun. Siblings are at home who are usually at school. Some days we stay in pajamas all day. The routines have made way for willy-nilly “what-should-we-do?” days.

For some kids, the changes are a welcome respite. Taking a break from grueling schedules, alarm clocks and high-pressured school and homework feels great after a long school year. For others, the changes are stressful and upsetting. The structure of their normal routine is comforting and makes life predictable. Even in the same family, there may be two kids who differ in their reactions to these changes.

Our goal is always to teach flexibility and adaptability, but some kids come preprogrammed with challenges in this area or even an absolute inability to tolerate it.

The best tools for kids who struggle with the changes are:

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Happy Cinco de Mayo - Celebrate your Victories!

Happy Cinco de Mayo: A day of celebration in parts of the U.S. and in sections of Mexico, especially the State of Puebla. From strife comes joy as Cinco de Mayo celebrates the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at The Battle of Puebla in 1862.

Perhaps many of us didn’t know what Cinco de Mayo represented before now, but we celebrate together with our brothers and sisters from Mexico.

I love any reason to celebrate and especially love to teach my kids about different traditions and celebrations from around the world and the history behind them. Celebrations bring families and friends together with laughter and festivities – erasing all of the worries of life, for now.

Read on here!

Raising Optimistic Kids!

“Optimism: a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.”

Few people naturally default to optimism and many people are actually annoyed by it. Those who believe everything is “meant to be” or “happens for the best” can certainly drive those crazy who believe only what they can see, hear, touch, taste or smell. Frankly, most people I talk to don’t ever give optimism a thought.

Lucky for you, I think about this stuff all the time! To self-disclose, I was a mildly depressed young adult who didn’t even realize that I was depressed because I never remembered feeling anything different. I entered therapy because it was required in my graduate program and the healthier I got the more I was able to see the contrast. When I would feel depressed again, I had little tolerance for it because now I’d had a taste of feeling good! Being depressed was no longer an option. But I didn’t know how NOT to default to it.

Click here to read some great tips to growing your kids' and your own optimism muscles!

The Importance of Honoring Your Child’s Defiance (within Reason!)

On March 25, 1965, Martin Luther King, Jr. led 25,000 marchers to the state capitol in Alabama to protest the denial of voting rights for black people. For many of those marching, that day may have been the first time they stood up for themselves and used their voices and the first time anyone said to them, “You’re worthy of better”. There was great strength, confidence and hope that day.

I get a lot of calls from parents asking me:

“Why is my child so defiant?”

“Why does he fight me on everything?”

As parents, it is our job to teach kids where the limits are, but not to squash their ability to test those limits. That’s their spark, the fire in their belly and the life force of who they are. Strong-willed kids are harder to raise, but aren’t they better equipped for some aspects of adulthood? They already possess an inner strength that many people only wish they had!

“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” Voltaire

How do we honor our children’s protests?

Read the whole article here!

Raising Heroes!

A couple of weeks ago I read a very sad article about a shooting at a school outside of Cleveland, Ohio. What happened at that school and in other school shootings is inconceivable. When we send our kids off to school we want to know and believe that our children are safe. In the midst of the sadness of this article which included the deaths of 3 students as well as other injuries, came an incredibly uplifting aspect to this story. A story of a man – a reluctant hero – who saved countless lives that day by confronting the shooter and, literally, chasing him out of the school. The brave man’s name is Frank Hall. He’s the assistant football coach at the school, a husband and father of four adopted sons.

Frank Hall’s actions were heroic.

Read the rest of my article here!

The Beauty and Ugliness of Spring

The beginning of spring is upon us! **Aaaaachooooo** (Excuse me)

The signs of new life appear everywhere. It’s actually a very exciting time to see the trees come back to life, the daffodils in bloom, the wisteria making its brief appearance on gates and walls… and there’s new hope in the air! Excuse me if I’m completely clueless about what spring is about considering that I live in Southern California, but there are some signs even in this typically warm climate that the beautiful season of spring is here. **Aaaachoooo** (Excuse me)
Read on here.

The Lesson of the Oscars

I love the Oscars!!!  I make it a point to see all of the “Best Picture” nominated movies and even try to see some of the nominated performances in other movies.  My mom and I do this together which makes it even more fun!  We have a ritual.  Around November, we start making our list of “must-see” movies.  During awards season, we call each other and we plan each coming weekend.  If we both have a free afternoon or evening during the weekend (or even a decadent weeknight) we plan where we’ll see it and what time we’ll meet.  We buy our popcorn (sometimes) and our ridiculously overpriced water bottles and we head into the theater with great anticipation. 

After the movie, we often go out for a bowl of soup and debrief.  The movies often spark conversations about relationships, life, philosophy, and even turn us into amateur movie critics.  It is so much fun! 

Of course, we repeat this routine as many times as necessary until we have seen all of the movies on our list.  It is so much fun and we wait with great anticipation for the Oscars Ceremony.  It is truly our reward for all of our hard work and dedication.  Ok, really, it’s tons of fun and gives me a great excuse to spend time together with my fabulous mom!

Last night was the big night! We got together to watch at my house on the big screen TV.  I made us a big salad and put out appetizers for us to nosh on throughout the evening.  Literally, we made a mini party.  Just the two of us!  My kids came in and out during the evening, but their commitment level is clearly not the same as Mom’s and mine.  My husband timed a visit to his Dad’s perfectly, so he didn’t have to witness the silliness and our overly loud exuberance as our favorites won or lost. 

We loved the show from start to finish! We enjoyed every minute of the red carpet – commenting on the dresses and the hilariousness of the question, “Who are you wearing?”  We waited with baited breath to hear the end of the sentence, “And the Oscar goes to…”  over and over again.  It was truly a labor of love shared by a mother and daughter who typically don’t allow themselves the luxuries of indulgence.  We both work hard and clearly have our priorities in order most of the year.  This is our one “cheesy” indulgence and we cherish the time together more than any other ingredient of this whole scenario. 

Here’s the irony: Today, the day after the Oscars, the television stations are crazy with reports about last night’s ceremony.  “Billy Crystal was wonderful!” “Billy Crystal was terrible!” “Everyone looked beautiful!” “Everyone looked so old!”  The reports are flying and the critics are working overtime being overly critical, to say the least.  I can hardly stand to listen to them.

Here’s my take on the whole thing.  Just like everything in life, you get out what you put in.  My mom and I put our hearts into the whole experience and made it wonderful for ourselves all along the way and it paid off.  It was wonderful – for us!  The bottom line is that if you don’t make a big investment, you don’t get a big payoff.  The critics are paid to be critical and I don’t care what anyone says, Mom and I loved every minute!