Times of Uncertainty & Gratitude

My family and I had the immense privilege today of helping out for a few hours at our local food bank. We accomplished so much and I was so proud of all of our hard work (along with a group of our dear friends) and the progress we made for Manna in Thousand Oaks.

During these uncertain economic times, more people than ever are turning to food banks to supplement or provide all of the food for their family.

I couldn't help but feel so much gratitude for all of the blessings in my life and to send blessings to the families waiting patiently for their turn to shop from Manna's shelves.

During this time of year - and any time of year - don't forget to say "thank you" for the many blessings around you. Even in the tough times, there is always something for which to say thank you.

Balanced Parenting

It has been such a long time since I have updated my blog. I must confess that I, too, struggle with finding balance at times. As we all do! I believe that balance isn't a state that we live in, it is a state that we are always striving for, and as a result, we are constantly making corrective moves.

Life often gets away from us and we must remember to come back and find our center again. Doing that sometimes means putting things on the back burner that can wait, but won't overwhelm us later. It's about prioritizing what really matters and letting go of what doesn't. Letting go is a big challenge for some of us, but quite liberating when we finally succumb.

When evaluating your priorities, remember to put yourself first, your marriage second and your kids up there in the top three. Take good care of yourself to bring your best self to your marriage/relationships and to your kids; take good care of your primary relationship so that when the kids are grown and gone you will have someone there with whom you want to move forward; and, when those two priorities are cared for, you will bring an amazing parent to the table with your kids. Your buckets will be filled up, your support and internal resources will be in place and you will have all you need to make good choices in parenting your kids.

Wishing you balance,

Bette

Expectations

Many parents come to me experiencing disappointment and frustration. I often find that what is really happening is that they have unreasonable expectations of themselves and their kids. We must keep in mind our child's developmental age and abilities in addition to what we have taught them up to that point. What can they handle? Are we expecting more than we should?

The other unreasonable expectation that I see frequently is that of moms and dads thinking they should be perfect all of the time. We are all learning, growing and developing, just like our kids. Go easy on yourself and do your best to do your best. Your kids will forgive you along the way if you learn to be forgiving of yourself.

Enjoy this wild ride called raising kids!

New Tools for the New Year!

The first tool I recommend parents work on for this new year is their reactions to their kids' behaviors. How we handle a situation actually determines how things go. When your child behaves in a way that is challenging, appalling and even embarrassing, I challenge you to take a breath before reacting. Show no emotion, breathe, and think through how you want to handle the moment. Often, how we react to our kids' behavior sends the whole family down a "rabbit hole" of chaos.

Remember: Stop...breathe...decide on the best intervention.

Wishing you balance,

Bette