Growing Self-Esteem in our Kids!

Self-esteem! How do we grow it in our kids? First, we give them opportunities to do things for themselves.  When we step in and "help" or take over altogether, we rob them of the chance to feel good about doing something for themselves. We have to tolerate their frustration, allow them to be uncomfortable and let them get to the "I DID IT!" Stepping in communicates to our kids that we don't have faith in them.  We want them to have faith in themselves so we have to have faith first. Before offering assistance, ask if they'd like your help and then be sure to give them the space to try for themselves the next time. Express your confidence in them and stay out as much as possible. Listen for those times when your kids are proud of themselves and then please share with us here!

Wishing you balance,

Bette Alkazian, LMFT
Balanced Parenting
www.BalancedParenting.com


From MOMIPEDIA on Facebook

Meltdowns!

Meltdowns! No one likes them and some parents feel assaulted by them when their kids are having a hard time. Here's a new way of looking at them that will hopefully give you some more patience and understanding. Lots of kids hold themselves together all day at school - swallowing their anxiety and even holding back tears, at times.  When they see Mom or Dad, they feel safe to let it out, hence, the after-school meltdown, the after-sleepover meltdown, the after-birthday party meltdown, etc... Our kids are just releasing what they've been holding in all day. Make the observation for them that they need to release their big feelings from the whole day (before or after the meltdown) and give them options for the future.  For example, a game of one-on-one, a bike ride or anything physical; a good chat about what was hard about the day; a creative outlet like drawing, painting, writing... Help your kids to navigate their big feelings without taking their behavior personally.

Wishing you balance,

Bette Alkazian, LMFT
Balanced Parenting
www.BalancedParenting.com

from MOMIPEDIA on Facebook