I'm going to a conference and will be gone for 3 days - by myself! I look forward to the education, connecting with colleagues, and getting my continuing education hours, but I'm most excited about getting away by myself. I feel guilty that I'm leaving my family. I'll miss my daughter's softball game and I'll miss being with them all.
The preparation for getting away is a huge undertaking in itself. Making sure everyone knows what time is what, how she'll get there and what to take with them. Not to mention, the dog's specific eating and medicine regimen after a recent illness. There are so many people (and dog) to worry about!
I need to get away and I'll take my guilt with me, but I'll also have time to workout, watch TV in the evenings and go to sleep early...which never happens at home!
I've decided to have a good time and hope that the house isn't a complete disaster when I get home! I highly recommend that other moms do it, too!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Trusting the Process
For those of you who have read my Balanced Parenting Newsletter, you know what this is going to be about. As a parent, it is very challenging for me to resist the temptation to control things, especially my kids. The older I get and the older they get, the more I'm learning that I really have no control over them, nor should I.
Yes, I should maintain control of the authority in our home, along with my husband. That's how we help our kids feel safe knowing that we are taking care of the important things. But controlling my kids' behavior, that's a whole other topic.
I won't be able to follow them around all of their lives telling them what they "should" or "shouldn't" do. They have to figure it out for themselves and I have to remember that their behavior is NOT a reflection of me, nor is it a measurement of my parenting ability. My kids are their own people - people I adore, by the way - and they should make their own decisions. I won't always agree with them, but I must honor them and trust that, in the end, they are making the right choices for themselves in the long run.
When our kids are little, it may mean letting go of caring if our kids' socks match. As they get older, we may need to sit back and watch as our child befriends a kid we don't care for much. Ultimately, (as I'm learning currently) we can't choose our kids' colleges for them. They have to live with their choices, so they have to make the choices themselves. (Yes, I'm keeping my mouth shut as much as possible - and it's so hard!)
Let me know how you have quieted yourself and allowed your kids the space to do the right thing. Did they step up? How was it for you?
Looking forward to hearing from you and wishing you balance,
Bette
Yes, I should maintain control of the authority in our home, along with my husband. That's how we help our kids feel safe knowing that we are taking care of the important things. But controlling my kids' behavior, that's a whole other topic.
I won't be able to follow them around all of their lives telling them what they "should" or "shouldn't" do. They have to figure it out for themselves and I have to remember that their behavior is NOT a reflection of me, nor is it a measurement of my parenting ability. My kids are their own people - people I adore, by the way - and they should make their own decisions. I won't always agree with them, but I must honor them and trust that, in the end, they are making the right choices for themselves in the long run.
When our kids are little, it may mean letting go of caring if our kids' socks match. As they get older, we may need to sit back and watch as our child befriends a kid we don't care for much. Ultimately, (as I'm learning currently) we can't choose our kids' colleges for them. They have to live with their choices, so they have to make the choices themselves. (Yes, I'm keeping my mouth shut as much as possible - and it's so hard!)
Let me know how you have quieted yourself and allowed your kids the space to do the right thing. Did they step up? How was it for you?
Looking forward to hearing from you and wishing you balance,
Bette
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